That's weird. I could've sworn I just got off the plane and was shoved awkwardly into a hotel of 30 college students I didn't know. I've been constantly in this place of wavering between being completely ready to go and breaking into tears because I want to stay so badly. Its definitely a whole lot of both. maybe i'll live here again one day, it's definitely my kind of lifestyle. i love that everything is within walking or metroing distance. i love never having to get in the car to go somewhere. that's gonna be a shock when i get home. I love the feeling of swiping my Navigo (see picture) to get through the turnstyle and being anywhere within minutes. I love the random combination of parks and cute streets and markets and monuments and museums and bridges over the seine and lively cafés and restaurants. even the dirty areas are worth it...and that delicious smell of piss at certain metro stops (okay, now i'm being sarcastic).
I'm gonna get sentimental in about .008 seconds. Being in Paris has...definitely changed me, how could it not. Despite the cliché-ness of that, it really has. I think (hope!) I'm much more outgoing. I'm constantly meeting new people here and throughout my travels, so its become a necessity. I think I'm much more comfortable with myself, which is a good feeling since I'm typically so self-conscious. Its funny that despite all the stupid cat calls and random french and italian men trying to tell you "vous etês si belle!" you'd think it'd be the opposite. Despite some anxiety trouble I've had this semester, I think I'm happier now, though adjusting back to the states is gonna be difficult and I don't know how me here is gonna fit with me at home. I can only imagine that it'll be all the more wonderful because of the experiences I've had.
i love all the friends that I've made from so many different places. It makes me want to road trip so bad to see everyone in their home environment. I'm going to miss my church here a lot. While it wasnt enough time to get really close to people, the energy at church was so upbeat and positive and warm. I loved singing in the choir. Our director Fred was hilarious and the music was absolutely gorgeous (think Schubert's mass, Vivaldi's Gloria, Be Thou My Vision...all some of my faves) with all sorts of guest artists...trumpet, bells, youth choir, liturgical dance, soloists, and my fave, the harp played by my good friend Gloria. We always had a tea and dessert break during practice so I got to talk to a lot of people, some in english some in french. Tuesday nights were great too, every other being pizza night where we(the young adults) made our own pizza and talked and had discussion groups, and then the other nights being bible studies usually led by Ginger, the youth pastor. She was so sweet, friendly, and encouraging. I dont think I've ever met someone as genuine or kind as she. When i was saying goodbye and thanking her for everything on the last day she replied with "thank you for being such a wonderful person" and i literally didnt know what to say. and then the services were always beautiful, despite my distaste for the pastor's frequesnt political sermons or sermons involving the military in its morals. either way, he was a character, and i never wanted to miss a sermon (and thus i would wake up quite often after two hours of sleep to get there on time).
gonna miss so many things...
i'll miss walking around paris until the sun goes down around 10:30...or walking around paris until the sun comes up around 6AM....
i'll miss the jardin de luxembourg and picnics and the fountain and the vivacity of it when its gorgeous outside. i'll miss old men playing petanque and chess (its just like in the movies, all of them sitting out under a covered area with the chess board built into the table). i'll miss the random modern art in the gardens...crazy giant golden head...giant q-tips, huge flower pot with legs sticking out, etc. i'll miss our baguettes de tradition, cheese (thank heaven they make Boursin in the states!), wine, and fruit. i'll miss fruit stands everywhere, and i plan to live at the farmers market.
i'll miss our frequent ventures with british and/or scottish guys we meet randomly, which have become a trend. i'm beginning to think maybe i really need to move to the UK.
i'll miss crêpes, but i'm determined to perfect the art of crêpe-making and build myself one of the wooden dowel-esque tools they use to spread the batter. i'll have to make due with swiss cheese since emmental doesnt exist in the U.S. and figure out how to make that insane tuna mix they use that i swear must have crack in it.
i'll miss cheap train and plane tickets. 66 euro round trip to nice in first class....50 euro will get you to any country by plane.
i'll miss euro fifty wine and peach champagne on the pont des arts(pedestrian bridge over the seine) with tons of random people our age. the other night this random french guy, maybe 19yrs old, came up and asked us for a cork screw. later he came over and asked us (in french, bien sûr) to come join them (there were like 10 people), so we did. just a fun time. there were all sorts of things going on on the bridge...fire juggling...random acrobatics...very entertaining.
i'll miss little french kids. i wish i had a Mila (the 8-year old i stayed with in Strasbourg) everywhere i went. i love how they just want to tell you everything they know.
i'll miss our friends/the bartenders at the Moose, our fave canadian bar, conveniently located within walking distance from me for when the metro closes. ironically only one of the bartender's is canadian and he's leaving. oh well :P
i'll miss the french language. i don't wanna go back to speaking english all the time...i feel too comfortable living in my own language bubble, and i've loved stepping out of that. it's such a crazy experience - to have to find ways around your limited knowledge of a language and do the best you can to express yourself, to constantly pick up new expressions and try to process the grammatical structure of it all while still keeping a conversation going. its really hard, but so rewarding. i've felt foreign but at home at the same time.
i'll miss my homestay but at the same time, i need a different kind of independence than this. i'd prefer to live with lots of other people, but i'd prefer to cook for myself and create my own rules. not that there were so many rules...not many at all..maybe wash the tub and keep the bathroom door shut, lol, but i like to feel like i'm in charge of the space i'm living in and that obviously isn't a possibility in a homestay. but my mère d'acceuil is a sweetheart and i wish i could express to her so much better how appreciative i am for her inviting me in. i know she's going through a lot...her brother passed away and her mother-in-law has been moved in here because she's extremely ill and dying. she's not mentally well so it wears on my host mom and she's tired all the time, not to mention she's been having to get up at either 6AM for work or 7AM for the doctor to come give her m-in-law her meds.
i'll miss our program staff. i'll miss my fights with valérie which included the best french i've ever spoken. i loved how she would always let me argue with her just to talk, and she would always respond the opposite but so nicely, lol. and then she would let me keep arguing/ranting. i'll miss my tutoring session with Alexandra (for archaeology) and Pauline (checked my grammar for papers) because they always kept up with me, taught me a lot about french slang and conversational speech, and were just really nice). Alexandra was a third-year french student - she would call me on the phone all the time and it took every ounce of concentration to understand her because i couldnt see her lips and i definitely do a bit of lip-reading when i listen to french. also she just talked to me like i was any other french person, crazy fast, lots of slang, very informal -- i'm thankful for that because i learned a lot from her. Pauline was just amazing. so supportive. at the end of the semester she was like "you haave to look back on what you've done this semester and see how much you've progressed" talking about the difference from my first paper to my seventh. and its true, i can now express much more complicated ideas than i ever could before this. i'll also miss Noelle, our grad student from Emory. she's so cute and funny. and her french is great for it being her 2nd language.
it's gonna be really hard to keep my french up, but i'll have to make anyone i know who knows french speak it with me (aka KTSteele...if you're reading this) and maybe find a french-english language exchange or just a french buddy. i plan to keep every electrical device i own in french, haha, computer, ipod, phone. I'm going to stay in touch with my host mom and she said she'll correct my emails and respond~
and a few things i will not miss:
i will NOT miss medieval archaeology or the history of the french revolution and religions. i will NOT miss french students giving exposés. I really will NOT miss anything about the french education system whatsoever. not one thing. i will not miss rabid french women attacking me and audrey. i will not miss the toilet being separate from the rest of the bathroom. i will not miss the window without a curtain in the bathroom. i will not miss people who dont believe in flipflops and completely clothe themselves in black year-round. i will not miss not having a functioning oven. i will not miss having to go to a laundromat and paying 3.60 euro to wash and 1 euro every 10 minutes to dry. i will not miss the exchange rate and have to multiply everything by 1.5 and still knowing that its more than that. i will not miss the lack of peanut butter, cinnamon, floss, and cheap diet coke.
Je reviendrai, ma belle Paris!!! Bientôt!
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