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I had a partially tough weekend -- a situation that I wasn't happy with, something I havent dealt with before, but can't really explain. It's taken me a few days to get over it and its something I've prayed about a lot. It's funny the things you learn about yourself when you least expect it, and the changes that happen when you least expect them. I didn't realize how close and how far from God I could feel within such a short period of time, but through my screw-ups and my realisations I'm finding I have a whole new relationship with Him. Thank you Paris. This isn't what I expected at all coming here, but certain moments make me realize what a blessing this developping change in my life is.

My young adult group here is a huge blessing. We had a pizza and discussion night tonight. Another thing I've been praying about is my desire to speak up/participate in the conversations we have. I rarely feel very comfortable talking about my beliefs/thoughts/etc on the Bible, Christ, God, etc. I think I'm often afraid of what people will think/being 'wrong'/etc which when I say that aloud it makes me realize how silly that is. Anyways, today I felt a new confidence in speaking my thoughts and it was very relieving and cool for me to hear people respond and affirm them and to really be a part of the discussion. I guess I just need that reassurance to know that they're valid. Now that I have that, hopefully I'll be more talkative in future discussions.

Our discussion tonight was on truth and what we consider "lies." It stemmed from the passage from John where Jesus says "I am the..truth" and the passage a couple chapters later where Pontius Pilate asks "What is truth?" and Jesus doesn't respond.

Our pizza nights (every other tuesday is pizza, every other is bible study) always consist of a few questions regarding contemporary Christian life, and what it means to be and live as a Christian now. So we split into smaller groups and discuss the questions, of which tonights were something like:
-Do you ever lie? Are these small or big lies or both?
-Is it wrong to tell lies, even when it's to protect someone, save a life, etc?
-Can you lie with your actions?
-(there was another really good question here, can't remember it) What did Jesus mean when he said "I am the Truth"?

It was interesting because I thought we kept getting so caught up in this idea of telling lies whereas I felt there is so much more in lying as an action. Do I ever lie? Of course. Everyone lies. Despite the commandment not to lie (or bear false witness), we all lie. But what is the real importance of this kind of lying? Is it really those little "oh that dress looks great on you" when you think it should be ripped to shreds or the "yeah! i'd love to meet up sometime" when you'd rather just not see the person again? I feel like it has to be something more than these little lies, rather lying with the knowledge or intent of hurting, doing wrong, etc. When I think about it, it all seems like a little connect-the-dots logic puzzle in my head. Lying is the opposite of truth. Since Jesus is the Truth, anything that goes against Him is a lie. Jesus embodied the truth, it was through his actions and his words and his life that he was and is the truth. And so we must strive to live truly, as we strive to live like Jesus. But of course, we fall short of the truth, and thus through our actions we lie. I think these lies are more relevant to the changes I want to make in learning to live like Jesus, rather than worrying about the "little white lies" as we call them.
I'm curious to know what the actual connotation of the commandment "Thou shalt not bear false witness" is...pre-translation (or if there is one). It seems to be ambiguous as to whether it refers to words or actions.
And it also seems to me that we can lie with our words but be truthful with our actions or our intentions. This seems like the difference between Rahab who lies about keeping the spies in her house to spare their lives and thus is spared in return, and Ananias and Sapphira who lie and are killed because of it.
Anyways, just a stream of consciousness of my thoughts which I thought was more relevant to my life now in Paris than any recount of the classwork that I'm avoiding or the dinners out with friends, though those are fun too. Especially with Holy Week and Easter approaching, these are more the thoughts on my mind than those of exploring the city. Though I will say, for my Dad's reassurance (and he does ask me bi-weekly) that I noticed today a marked improvement in my comprehension of the language since when I first arrived here. And I do get asked at least once a day for directions and can usually help about half the time :-P

A couple pictures to balance all of the words:

Paris and its macaron-wonderness


Out for falafel: